I just finished watching the 2012 Hollywood Les Miserables. I loved it – this isn’t a movie review, so that is as far as my “reviewing” will go. This is actually going to tie in with a previous post of mine “Hollywood Love and Jane Austen Dreams”.
Les Miserables is not a happy movie. Not at all. If you happen to be anything like me, you will cry all the way through it. Scene after scene is heart wrenching. However, it is not scene after scene that makes me bawl. The scene that breaks my heart is not Fontine’s death, or Cozette’s abuse, it is not Jean Valjean’s despair nor even his death, it is not Eponine’s death or Gavroche’s death, or, well, everyone’s death. No, the scene that breaks my heart the most is Eponine in the rain, alone. I know I know, I must not understand what heart breaking is if that is the scene that gets to me. Eponine’s “On My Own” resonates with me in ways that no other aspect of that movie does. Eponine’s song is my song.
“On my own. Pretending he’s beside me” (Les Miserables). Ya, that’s pretty much the story of my life. As stated before, this will chime back to my “Hollywood Love” post. Unrequited love. Ya, I’m back there again. I’ve spent my life “pretending he’s beside me.” I’ve rarely been the Cozette. I always seem to be Eponine. Starting all the way back to junior high and the first “love of my life.” But all those times before I only thought I was in love, now, I know I am. Because, like Eponine, I care what’s best for him, including me walking away. Unfortunately, much like our dear Eponine, I’m only pretending. Not pretending I love him, that is truth, pretending that he could possibly love me.
I love Eponine. I really do. Most women caught in an unrequited love situation are often portrayed as bitches, but poor Eponine actually helps the love of her life find the love of his life. Proof that she really does love him because only true love lets go. Unlike the countless other deaths in that movie, Eponine’s seems almost, just a little, merciful . . . and necessary.
If you haven’t heard the song already, then I beg you to click on the link above and give it a listen because, honestly, she says it best, “I love him, but only on my own” (Les Miserables). Grab some tissues though, because if you’re anything like me, you’ll need them.