When I was a young teenager, no older than 15, I was put on Prozac. Yes, believe it or not, there was a doctor out there willing to put a child on Prozac. I didn’t last long on that stuff. I still felt all the sadness and hurt I felt pre-Prozac, the only difference was now I couldn’t cry it out. It was at that moment that I realized crying is one of the most powerful therapies out there. I could handle the pain as long as I could cry it out. The inability to cry it out only made it worse, so much worse.
We’ve all heard the stereotype that women are overly emotional. I am definitely one of those. I cry . . . A LOT! I cry when I’m hurt, when my heart is broken, when someone says something not to my liking or a misunderstanding has occurred which causes things to be said. I even cry when I’m stressed. Or like a baby, I cry when I’m overly tired. I cry at happy movies and sad movies. I even cry at books. And I spend a lot time crying myself to sleep. Sometimes, I wish I could be more stoic. It would make a lot of instances in my life easier to deal with, especially when around people who I don’t want to see my tears. But then there are those times when I can’t cry and I pray a fervent prayer that God will once again release those tears from their dam.
Many people see crying as a negative thing. But sometimes it is the needed thing. There are reasons why other cultures have such mourning ceremonies of extreme catharsis, because it is necessary. We are a society who almost looks down on crying. We shy away from criers for fear of making things worse or not knowing what to say. We raise our boys that it is weak to cry. I will say this now, a man who can shed a tear, is one of the sexiest things in existence.
Maybe I cry a little too easily, but I refuse to apologize for it. My tears are my link to my everything. It reminds me I’m still human. I may cry because of you, but I am more than willing to cry with you. I am always willing to allow my shirt to be stained with another’s tears. And I pray that I am never the cause of someone’s tears, though I know it has happened and will very likely happen again.
To end this, I will admit that sometimes crying makes it hurt worse. There is a reason why I sometimes scream when I cry. Sometimes I sob and bury my screams in a pillow. So why then do I want to cry? Because, if I’m crying like that, obviously something needs to come out. A mind, a heart, a person can only hold on to so much. Tears are a way to let go and release some of that. The bible even says “Jesus wept.” The ability to cry is a gift. Don’t force it away. Don’t remain stoic. Cry when you need to because then it will be so much easier to laugh and smile. I refuse to ever be ashamed of my tears again. I don’t expect there to always be someone there to notice and comfort. And sometimes I cry over that lack. But it’s ok. I just hope that my ability to cry, my own understanding of tears, can allow me to be a comfort to another who needs to shed a few burdens through tears.
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
“There you go…let it all slide out. Unhappiness can’t stick in a person’s soul when it’s slick with tears.” ~Shannon Hale, Princess Academy