I cannot tell you how many countless moments, hours, days, years I have spent thinking and dreaming about love. I have never wanted anything in my life more than to find that one and only meant for me happily ever after. Often, I feel my entire existence is filled with that longing. However, over that last few, maybe 6, months, I’m finding that love, true everlasting love, is something I never could have imagined.
10 years ago, my sister had a gorgeous daughter. Nearly 6 months ago, my beautiful sister had another perfect beautiful daughter. Maybe it’s because I’m moving far away in 2.5 months, but I’m learning to cherish them as never before. I love these two girls in ways that I can’t even begin to explain, ways that I’m not even sure I can comprehend.
Day after day, we hear in the news about mothers who are on trial for murdering their own babies because . . .what . . . they wanted more time to party? They wanted more time with their boyfriend? My nieces are not my babies, but I would give up my life and every plan for my life I’ve ever dreamed of if they ever needed me to be a mother to them (don’t get me wrong, they have a wonderful mother, but should some unforeseen event bring them to me, I would not hesitate to call them my own). I hold close my baby niece, and I soak in your scent and her softness. And I never want to let her go. I attend my pre-teen niece’s dance recital and gloat and brag about the beauty and the talent of that girl. These two girls make me crave to have my own babies, but should that not be in God’s plans for my life? I would still consider myself one of the most fortunate and blessed aunties in the world to call these girls part of me.
I come from a family that is apparently rare in today’s society: I have a loving (though sometimes annoying mother), a father who adores his children and grandbabies, I have a sister who I don’t ever want to live with out, and I have two of the most beautiful perfect nieces an auntie could ever asked for; they are so much more than I ever could have hoped for.
For the first time in my life, I know what true love is. It is not the true love I have spent my whole life dreaming about, and I still hope that that love plays a part in my future, but it is the true love of family that fills that space in my heart. My heart has never been fuller, never been so near bursting with the love and beauty that my family and especially my nieces have brought to my life.
I long to one day have a husband and children of my own, but I’ve realized I no longer need them to know what true love is. They would only add to the true love I already feel, but I feel true love every day of my life with the amazing people I am blessed to call family.
To my two beautiful nieces: I love you. I love you more than you can ever imagine. More than I even knew I was capable of loving. Thank you for bringing light and beauty and love into my life. Thank you for showing me what true love really is.